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10 Ways to Open Up Again After Being Hurt
03-01-2011Comments (185)
When your partner hurts you, it can be difficult to open up again and bring trust back into your relationship. It's hard to trust your heart to someone who has proven hurtful. You want to love, and so you throw caution to the wind and open up your heart, hoping you will not get hurt-again.
How do men and women open up to love and trust another person again while staying safe and protected from hurt? Here are 10 ways to do it.
1. Realise that any person close to you can hurt you. Haven't you ever hurt someone you love? Weren't you sorry afterwards? When others hurt you, realise they are just like you. They have likely hurt you unintentionally and are sorry. Find out.
2. Be prepared for the hurt. Don't assume that knowing someone well or being in love is going to prevent hurt. It won't.
3. It's probably not about you. When someone does hurt you, assume it's not personal and it's not directed at you, and it's not about you. Try not to over react.
4. Learn to set boundaries. To find out what your boundaries are, ask yourself the following questions:
• What don't I want in my life, in my relationships?
• What type of behavior hurts me?
• How would people ne
ed to behave around me in order for me to thrive happily?
There are things you will tolerate, and there are things you will not tolerate. Educate the people you love about your needs, your feelings, your dislikes, your boundaries. But first, educate yourself. A good therapist will help you get clarity and help you prioritise your likes and dislikes. If you need some assistance or guidance, ask for it.
5. Develop coping strategies. When you've been hurt, learn how to immediately handle the situation. For example, if your significant other raises her voice when she's upset, learn how to say, “I don't want to talk about this when you raise your voice.” Don't shut down! Don't start yelling back! Or, let's say you're waiting for a call back from a voicemail you left. Stop waiting for the call. Move on and live your life as it was before, and allow your life to continue on track (your track, not his or hers).
6. Trust yourself. Realise that most of feeling safe is about trusting yourself. You can be assured that most people—especially those close to you—will hurt you occasionally. Get over it as quickly as you can.
7. Be trustworthy. Become the kind of person who can be trusted. Be honest, no matter what. Be discreet. Keep agreements. Keep personal information between you personal.
8. Strengthen communication skills. Learn to communicate effectively and powerfully, yet gently. No attacks, no accusations—everything that needs to be said in order to make an impact can be said with grace and heart. If your partner won't talk, it means she's hurt or too selfish to be with. Find out which. If he or she listens, speak using “I feel” statements. As you know, we all tend to listen more intently if a soft tone is used.
9. Learn to trust. Believe in yourself and appreciate yourself enough to be able to dismiss the hurtful words.
10. Work through the hurt. Learn when it's appropriate to forgive and when it's best to end the relationship. Any partner will hurt you occasionally. The question is how much and how often. An occasional hurt or annoyance can be forgive
n or dealt with for the benefit of the relationship. Working through the hurt can make you grow together.
About the Author: Barbara Kennedy, M.P.H., M.S.W., is a well-known relationship coach, prominent speaker, and public health educator with a private relationship coaching practice in Scottsdale, Arizona. Her new book is Baby Boomer Men: Looking for Love.
Source: Thirdage.com
By: Tene Sommer
Rose Udo
10-01-2018 14:43
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CassieTiffany
23-11-2017 20:27
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I just found out about my husband cheating on me with a co-worker! We’ve been married going on two years. 2kids. lots of amazing momments together. i want to leave, but i love him so much. all i can think about is how nothing stopped him. how he has to see her everyday because they work together. we are both still young and very attractive. but i want my husband, my friend, and the father of my beautiful children. how do i get past the thought of another woman having my husband? Not my fiancé, not my boyfriend, but my husband! i still love him even though he thinks i want to leave i really want him to do better and stop me before i walk out! my husband told me that he doesn’t feel loved anymore, just because of this co-worker he has be cheating on with me that he wants a divorce, i was devastated, heart broken i begged him to listen to me that we can work it out like we always do, but he didn’t listen, he told me that he met someone that loves and understands him, i begged him to consider our kids but he’s did listen. he left and i was frustrated, i began searching for help and answers, then i heard about a man that can Cast a spell to remind him of all the things we have been through together, at first I was scared then i decided to give it a try, and like magic my husband came back, apology and begging for forgiveness, thanks to this man, I’m posting this to help people with
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Cassie Tiffany
16-11-2017 12:07
Genuine Online Spell Cater On Urgent Love Spell To Get Your Ex Back, Fix Your Broken Marriage And Stop Divorce
I just found out about my husband cheating on me with a co-worker! We’ve been married going on two years. 2kids. lots of amazing momments together. i want to leave, but i love him so much. all i can think about is how nothing stopped him. how he has to see her everyday because they work together. we are both still young and very attractive. but i want my husband, my friend, and the father of my beautiful children. how do i get past the thought of another woman having my husband? Not my fiancé, not my boyfriend, but my husband! i still love him even though he thinks i want to leave i really want him to do better and stop me before i walk out! my husband told me that he doesn’t feel loved anymore, just because of this co-worker he has be cheating on with me that he wants a divorce, i was devastated, heart broken i begged him to listen to me that we can work it out like we always do, but he didn’t listen, he told me that he met someone that loves and understands him, i begged him to consider our kids but he’s did listen. he left and i was frustrated, i began searching for help and answers, then i heard about a man that can Cast a spell to remind him of all the things we have been through together, at first I was scared then i decided to give it a try, and like magic my husband came back, apology and begging for forgiveness, thanks to this man, I’m posting this to help people with
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PHIL COUCH
14-11-2017 22:09
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sandy jose
04-09-2016 16:10
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joy canon
07-08-2016 10:38
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of 23 i have only one child and i was living happily .After one year of my
marriage my husband behavior became so strange and i don’t really
understand what was going on, he packed out of the house to another woman i
love him so much that i never dream’s of losing him, i try my possible best
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immediately. He told me what to do to get my husband back and i did, he
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be the glory our relationship is now very tight and we both live happily
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SIMATI KWAME
07-08-2016 10:37
i am simati kwame from south Africa have been suffering from (HIV/AIDS) disease for the last four years now and had constant pain, especially in my knees. During the first year,I had faith in God that i would be healed someday.This disease has been trying to circulate all over my body and i have been taking treatment from my doctor, few weeks ago i came on search on the internet if i could get any information concerning the prevention of this disease, on my search i saw a testimony of someone who has been healed from (Cancer) by this Man Dr PRINCE ARATA and many other`s. well she gave the email address of this man and advise we should contact him for any sickness that he would be of help, so i wrote to Dr PRINCEARATA telling him about my (HIV Virus) he told me not to worry that i was going to be cured!! hmm i never believed it,, well after all the procedures and remedy given to me by this man few weeks later i started experiencing changes all over me, and suddenly after some time i went to the hospital for a test to confirm to my greatest surprise i was finally healed, friends i will advise if you have any sickness at all you can email Dr PRINCE ARATA on : (dr.princearataabraham@gmail.com) or call him or better still whatsapp him on +2348163241499 sir i am indeed grateful for the help i will forever recommend you to the world.
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Lucy Jack
16-05-2016 04:27
Hello every body on this site,I'm Lucy by name. I want to give a testimony about my HIV virus that was cured by a great spell caster called Dr Owen. Since last 6 months I have being an HIV positive. I never think I will live long again and i wanted to kill myself because the problem is very too much for me. But am so grateful about this great man called Owen who cured my HIV AIDS last 3 weeks. I was in a great pain so a friend of came to visit me. And I told her my problem; She told me that there is a great spell caster that can cure my HIV. I asked her if she had his email address, she gave me his email owanspelltemple@gmail.com, and I emailed him. He talked to me and he perform the necessary rituals and he told me that after one week I should go for a test and Which I did, when the doctor told me that am now an HIV negative, I couldn't believe myself, I went to see another doctor the result was still the same, I was human on planet earth again, so I emailed him and thanked him. Please if you are having a similar problem please you can email him owanspelltemple@gmail.com. So that you will be happy like me too. Once again thank you Dr Owen..
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Lucy Jack
11-05-2016 22:26
Hello every body on this site,I'm Lucy by name. I want to give a testimony about my HIV virus that was cured by a great spell caster called Dr Owen. Since last 6 months I have being an HIV positive. I never think I will live long again and i wanted to kill myself because the problem is very too much for me. But am so grateful about this great man called Owen who cured my HIV AIDS last 3 weeks. I was in a great pain so a friend of came to visit me. And I told her my problem; She told me that there is a great spell caster that can cure my HIV. I asked her if she had his email address, she gave me his email owanspelltemple@gmail.com, and I emailed him. He talked to me and he perform the necessary rituals and he told me that after one week I should go for a test and Which I did, when the doctor told me that am now an HIV negative, I couldn't believe myself, I went to see another doctor the result was still the same, I was human on planet earth again, so I emailed him and thanked him. Please if you are having a similar problem please you can email him owanspelltemple@gmail.com. So that you will be happy like me too. Once again thank you Dr Owen..
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Regina
04-04-2016 18:07
The greatesst joy in my life now is that my love life has been restored by this great man.And the only thing best i can do now is to tell the whole world about this great man.This great man helped me when i had problem with my boyfriend and now my boyfriend is back in my arms if you are out there and you need a right place to solve your relationship problems contact this great man prophetkalito is the right choice. he is a great man that have been casting spells with years of experience. he cast spells for different purposes like
(1)If you want your ex back.
(2) if you always have bad dreams.
(3)You want to be promoted in your office.
(4)You want women/men to run after you.
(5)If you want a child.
(6)[You want to be rich.
(7)You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
(8)If you need financial assistance.
(9)Herbal care
Contact him today on;prophetkalito@gmail.com
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