10 Ways to Open Up Again After Being Hurt03-01-2011 Comments (84)
When your partner hurts you, it can be difficult to open up again and bring trust back into your relationship. It's hard to trust your heart to someone who has proven hurtful. You want to love, and so you throw caution to the wind and open up your heart, hoping you will not get hurt-again.
How do men and women open up to love and trust another person again while staying safe and protected from hurt? Here are 10 ways to do it.
1. Realise that any person close to you can hurt you. Haven't you ever hurt someone you love? Weren't you sorry afterwards? When others hurt you, realise they are just like you. They have likely hurt you unintentionally and are sorry. Find out.
2. Be prepared for the hurt. Don't assume that knowing someone well or being in love is going to prevent hurt. It won't.
3. It's probably not about you. When someone does hurt you, assume it's not personal and it's not directed at you, and it's not about you. Try not to over react.
4. Learn to set boundaries. To find out what your boundaries are, ask yourself the following questions:
• What don't I want in my life, in my relationships?
• What type of behavior hurts me?
• How would people ne ed to behave around me in order for me to thrive happily?
There are things you will tolerate, and there are things you will not tolerate. Educate the people you love about your needs, your feelings, your dislikes, your boundaries. But first, educate yourself. A good therapist will help you get clarity and help you prioritise your likes and dislikes. If you need some assistance or guidance, ask for it.
5. Develop coping strategies. When you've been hurt, learn how to immediately handle the situation. For example, if your significant other raises her voice when she's upset, learn how to say, “I don't want to talk about this when you raise your voice.” Don't shut down! Don't start yelling back! Or, let's say you're waiting for a call back from a voicemail you left. Stop waiting for the call. Move on and live your life as it was before, and allow your life to continue on track (your track, not his or hers).
6. Trust yourself. Realise that most of feeling safe is about trusting yourself. You can be assured that most people—especially those close to you—will hurt you occasionally. Get over it as quickly as you can.
7. Be trustworthy. Become the kind of person who can be trusted. Be honest, no matter what. Be discreet. Keep agreements. Keep personal information between you personal.
8. Strengthen communication skills. Learn to communicate effectively and powerfully, yet gently. No attacks, no accusations—everything that needs to be said in order to make an impact can be said with grace and heart. If your partner won't talk, it means she's hurt or too selfish to be with. Find out which. If he or she listens, speak using “I feel” statements. As you know, we all tend to listen more intently if a soft tone is used.
9. Learn to trust. Believe in yourself and appreciate yourself enough to be able to dismiss the hurtful words.
10. Work through the hurt. Learn when it's appropriate to forgive and when it's best to end the relationship. Any partner will hurt you occasionally. The question is how much and how often. An occasional hurt or annoyance can be forgive n or dealt with for the benefit of the relationship. Working through the hurt can make you grow together.
About the Author: Barbara Kennedy, M.P.H., M.S.W., is a well-known relationship coach, prominent speaker, and public health educator with a private relationship coaching practice in Scottsdale, Arizona. Her new book is Baby Boomer Men: Looking for Love.
By: Tene Sommer
DR KUQ YA ALL I CAN DO FOR YOU IS TO SHARE THIS TESTIMONY TO ALL
My Name is Mrs Valeria, I was married to my husband for 10 years and we were both bless with two children, living together as one love, until 2012 when things was no longer the way it was [ when he lost his job ]. But when he later gets a new job 6 months after, he stated sleeping outside our matrimonial home which really makes me crazy. Only for me to find out that he was having an affair with the lady that gave him the job. since that day, when i called him, He don't longer pick up my calls, He do not behave how he use to be before he got the job from the lady that he was having an affair with,I have also questioned him on this particular issues several times to please stop all this that what he is doing to me that is causing me to loose my temper and patient, Yet my husbands just still keep on seeing the lady. Until I met a very good friend of mine who was also having a similar problem years back, Who introduced me to a very good love spell caster,When my friend told me about this spell caster i ask her which one is he talking about,That i have used like two spell casters online that are fake.She explained to me that yes that there are really fake spell casters online that are just there to rip off someones money without giving out good result that THIS VERY PARTICULAR SPELL CASTER THAT I AM TELLING YOU ABOUT WAS INTRODUCED TO ME BY THE PRESIDENT OF AMERICA,COS HE IS MY COUSIN.The president directed me to him and gave me his contact that he is a very great spell caster that has helped him solve internal and external problems of his home and also of this country. But i told her that if it has to do with things that i am not interested, but she said that it has nothing to do with pay first. but the only thing she was ask to do when the president gave her the contact was just to go and buy the items to cast the spell,And if you can not get this items,It will only cost you just $150 dollars to like $300 dollars which you will have to send to him via western union or any means he require you to get this charges to him to get material needed to cast the spell this was what i did to get my man on track when he was doing something like this me in the year 2011.I quickly ask her on how i am going to get to this very great and reliable spell caster and also i did not forget the country he was from,She told me that this great spell caster that is so reliable and unique is from NIGERIA.she gave me the spell caster e-mail address and phone number. When i contacted him, i was so surprise when he said that if i have the believe in him and also i have faith that directed me to him that i will get my husband back in the nest three  day that i should just relax my mind as everything will go well,He told me to just put my mind at rest that nobody has ever come to him for help and go the same way he or she came.That he will want to first of all assure me that in the next 1,2,3,to 4 days that my husband must and will call me on phone begging and come home to me and go down on his knees and will be begging for forgiveness and even will get a gift to make the reunion sweet.He also told me that his spell casting is forever that there will be no break up again and also that the spell do not have any side effect but just to make you get what you want.Really my people in the world that will stop by to read my story,Or to those that need a very good spell caster,All the process went well and as he assured me and my husband was fully back on track and love me like never before.So i am out here to extend my thanks firstly to my friend that introduce me to him and also a very big thanks and more thanks to Dr Kuq Ya. This testimony is what i can only do for him by sharing it to other people to contact the right spell caster online and not to fall into the hands of those scammers that has used spell to start collecting money from individuals that need help without any sort of result.This man Called Dr Kuq Ya is good,great,durable,reliable and he helps those that will not also complete charges to get materials needed to cast spell and he is the author of my happiness and Joy. His e-mail address is as follow: firstname.lastname@example.org .
How i get rid of the negative spell and also how i got my lover back
For those who is looking for a Real spell caster. Before I came in contact with Dr Kuq Ya I have went to different psychics and spell casters to get my love back and to get a negative spell off me and nothing happened. Dr Kuq Ya I will give credit where it is due. Dr Kuq Ya is a spell caster that you will ever find. I am in a place in my life were i thought it would never happen again,But here i am, my love has returned back to me also i feel it in my body and soul that the negative spells that was on me is broken. I'm telling you if you have been to other spell casters, psychics with no results or you never been to one and you need help. Contact Dr Kuq Ya on this email address: email@example.com you will be glad you did...I am clima from United Kingdom
HOW THIS GREAT SPELL CASTER BROUGH BACK MY GIRLFRIEND AND JOB BACK.
My Name is Engr Hanson.I will want to share my testimony to all the people in this forum cos i never thought i will have my girlfriend back and she means the world to me..The girl i want to get marry to left me 2 weeks to our weeding for another man, When i called her she never picked my calls,She deleted me on her face-book and she changed her face book status from married to Single. when i went to her place of work she told her boss she do not want to see me anymore.I lost my job as a result of this because i was no longer myself, My life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life. I tried all i could to have her back, But all my effort did not work out until i met a Man when i travel to U.S.A to execute some business that i have been developing some years back. I told him my problem and all that i have passed through in getting my lover back and how i lost my job as a result of this same issue. He told me that i should wipe my tears that he is going to help me.I don't believe that in the first place.He said he will introduce me to a spell caster that we help me cast a spell on my lover and will make her to love me more than before,Really this was done and the spell caster assured me that in the next 24 hours time that my lover is going to be calling me on phone.Then i travel back to UK the following day and i called him when i got home and he said he's busy casting the spells and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells,He said i am going see positive results in the next 24 hours that is Thursday. To my greatest surprise My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on Thursday and apologies for all she had done. she said,she never knew what she's doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she promised not to do that again.It was like am dream when i herd that from her and when we ended the call,I called the man and told him my wife called and he said i haven't seen anything yet,He said i will also get my job back in 3 days time.And when its was Monday very early in the morning,They called me at my place of work that i should resume working on Tuesday and they will compensate me for the time limit have spent at home without working. My life is back into a very good shape,I have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with kids and i have my job back too.This man is really powerful.If we have up to 10 people like him in the world, The world would have been a better place,He has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now. Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help.You can email him on: firstname.lastname@example.org i cant give out his number cos he told me he don't want to be disturbed by many people across the world. He said his email is okay and he will replied to any email Asap and when you must have contact he can then give out his phone number to whom that will want to speak with him on phone..hope he helped you out too.Good Luck as you email him on the following email: email@example.com
THE TRUTH IS BITTER BUT I MUST HAVE TO REALLY SAY IT NOW THAT DR KUQ YA IS THE BEST AND RELIABLE SPELL CASTER ONLINE
Greetings to all,
I am Valencia,I am out here to spreed this good news to the entire world on how i got my ex love back.I was going crazy when my love left me for another girl last month,But when i meet a friend that introduce me to Dr Kuq Ya the great messenger to the oracle that he serve,I narrated my problem to Dr Kuq Ya about how my ex love left me and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,In the next 1 to 2 days,My love called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me before now and also in the next one week after my love called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for interview in my desired company were i needed to work as the managing director..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact Dr Kuq Ya at the following email address and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve..Contact him direct on: firstname.lastname@example.org and get your problems solve like me..
Send your emails to us on: email@example.com To get your spell casted !
Why must we be confused by all this online scammers when we all know that there has never been any other oracle apart from the the great spell casters called lama lama oracle temple, The great oracle and also the i my self called kuq ya that is greatest of all,Kuq ya means GREATEST AMONG ALL THE SPELL CASTERS...This oracle has been in existence for so many years even before i was born i inherited it from my great father..Since we have been existing we have never failed in solving any kind of problem anyone must have been having cos we know the spirits that we serve we never lets us down,We perform various sacrifice to this spirits from time to make our powerful and doings ineffective..This temple is out on the internet to tell of you that is wasting your time and also your hard earned money dealing with all this hungry souls that called there self spell casters and bring cause to themselves by claiming to be what they are not,We advise you all that you should stop it as it is no right to do such a thing,Because those spell caster that called there self different names / temples are scammers,You will do this greatest oracle good by doing that ok..They are scammers and all those testimony there are posted by them also and not the people they have help,They are doing all this to get money to fed there-self and there family members !!! BE WARNED ALL !!.. I have made so many of them online that are spoiling this great temple good work go back to the sea and some blind.I am Dr Kuq Ya the messenger to the great oracle of Nigeria,Indian,Indonesia,Singapore,UK,USA,Uganda,japan,Spain,Germany and Paris..We are know well there as the great temple that has helped them get many of there ANCESTRAL problems solve in recent times..But we are also extending this great offer to those that have any kind of problem,when i mean any kind of problem i mean any problem at all you might be having in this life,Such as getting your love back,you want to be rich, you feel like using charms on someone to get something your like from him or her or getting your scam many back,to mention but a few.. KUQ YA IS HERE FOR YOUR SERVICES AND PLEASE STOP DEALING WITH THOSE SO CALLED SPELL CASTERS THAT HAVE REALLY MESSED UP THIS WORK ONLINE.I HAVE NEVER BEEN ONLINE,BUT THE PRESIDENTS OF THE ABOVE COUNTRIES CALLED ME ON PHONE AND ALSO PERSONALLY HOLD A MEETING AND THEY ASK ME THE MESSENGER TO START ADVERTING AND TELL ALL ABOUT THIS GREATEST ORACLE DURABLE,PERFECT,MARVELOUS,AND GOOD WORKS TO AVOID THIS SCAMMING THAT IS GOING ON ONLINE... I WILL BE ENDING HERE NOW, IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING BOTHERING YOUR MIND AND YOU NEED PERMANENT SOLUTION TO IT WITHOUT ANY SIDE EFFECT OR HARM,KINDLY SEND AN EMAIL TO THE FOLLOWING EMAIL ADDRESS: firstname.lastname@example.org...Thanks and may the spirits guide you to read and understand what i said and also we will be awaiting response from you all that have problems that want it solve at once..
Thanks for your patronage as you come.
THANKS FOR RESTORING MY JOB, LOVER AND JOB BACK SIR !!
Hello to you all out there that want there problems that have been worrying them solve,Here is my own story,
wooow !! It good to say to you all that there is noting that can not be done at the temple of great spell temple were Kuq Ya is the messenger and the month speaks of the gods,Oh thank you so much Kuq Ya,You have really restored back my joy and happiness without any effect to it,You did it peacefully to get back my love,my Job, and also helping me recover my scam money from those online loan scammers that almost rip me off my hard earned money.The most Joyful part of it all is that i am getting married to my love that he help me to restored by making consultation with the great oracle. If want to be happy like me forever,Just email him via: email@example.com for help and he is willing to direct you on how you will go about it ok.
Hello to people that want to be Great,
Get your problem solve in Kuq Ya oracle temple / shrine ...You can get the bellow problems solve here.I will want you all to know that there is no side effect to this spell casting at all,It just to help you get what you want in-other ,And you will also be free from fake spell casters if you come for solution to your problems here. 1. Get your scam money back 2.} Bring back lost lover, even if lost for a long time 3.} Remove bad spells from homes, business & customer attraction etc. 4.} Get promotion you have desired for a long time at work or in your career. 5.} Read all your problems before you even mention them to him 6.} Remove the black spot that keeps on taking your money away 7. Find out why you are not progressing in life and the solution 8.} Eliminate in family fights 9.} Ensure excellent school grades even for children with mental disabilities 10.} Stop your marriage or relationship from breaking apart 11.} I destroy and can send back the Nikolos if requested 12.} We heal barrenness in women and disturbing menstruation 13.} Get you marriage to the lover of your choice 14.} Guarantee you win the troubling court cases & divorce no matter how what stage 15.} Ensure success in work and business 16.} Mental illness & bewitched 17.} Can?t sleep at night or walking at night 18.} Recover stolen property and whereabouts of people that hurt you. 19.} Bring supernatural luck into 20.} Extreme protection for those doing dangerous jobs like security guards, Bank manager, cash transporters, Etc firstname.lastname@example.org . READ UP CAREFULLY AND GET YOUR PROBLEM SOLVE:contact email@example.com .
My name is Rose Mary from uk. I never believed in love spells or black magic until i met this spell caster once when i went to Africa in march this year on a business summit. I meant a man who’s name is DR.EDUKA he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one’s gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I’m now happy that i am na a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me a weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 6years. I really loved him, but his father was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided, skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 5 days when i returned to Canada, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is firstname.lastname@example.org
First of all,Am just short of words i don't know what to say,am so grateful to Dr Love for what he has done for me at first i thought he was a scam,But i just decided to contact him then he told me that my lover will be back to my arms within 48hours.Really when the 48hours completed my lover called me and said he was sorry,i was so happy that my lover who left me for over 4years called me,Now we are together he can't do without me he always wants me to be by his side.now he love's me and he does not want anything to hurt me anymore.My lover even bought me a new car and a gold wristwatch.And now i also have access to his account to prove that he will never leave me alone am so happy all thanks goes to Dr Love .if you want to contact him for help here his is private mail Drlovespellcaster@yahoo. com or Tel : +2348038096203
Name : Stacey
Welcome to temple of success , i would be very glad to help you get your ex back between 24hrs , please Kindly answers the following information and i will consult my oracle to know what to do next and within the next 24hrs you will have your desired result.
your full name....
lover picture .....
Lover full name .......
your phone number......
Your country .......
once i have this information within the next 2 hrs every things will be fine.
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