10 Ways to Open Up Again After Being Hurt03-01-2011 Comments (162)
When your partner hurts you, it can be difficult to open up again and bring trust back into your relationship. It's hard to trust your heart to someone who has proven hurtful. You want to love, and so you throw caution to the wind and open up your heart, hoping you will not get hurt-again.
How do men and women open up to love and trust another person again while staying safe and protected from hurt? Here are 10 ways to do it.
1. Realise that any person close to you can hurt you. Haven't you ever hurt someone you love? Weren't you sorry afterwards? When others hurt you, realise they are just like you. They have likely hurt you unintentionally and are sorry. Find out.
2. Be prepared for the hurt. Don't assume that knowing someone well or being in love is going to prevent hurt. It won't.
3. It's probably not about you. When someone does hurt you, assume it's not personal and it's not directed at you, and it's not about you. Try not to over react.
4. Learn to set boundaries. To find out what your boundaries are, ask yourself the following questions:
• What don't I want in my life, in my relationships?
• What type of behavior hurts me?
• How would people ne ed to behave around me in order for me to thrive happily?
There are things you will tolerate, and there are things you will not tolerate. Educate the people you love about your needs, your feelings, your dislikes, your boundaries. But first, educate yourself. A good therapist will help you get clarity and help you prioritise your likes and dislikes. If you need some assistance or guidance, ask for it.
5. Develop coping strategies. When you've been hurt, learn how to immediately handle the situation. For example, if your significant other raises her voice when she's upset, learn how to say, “I don't want to talk about this when you raise your voice.” Don't shut down! Don't start yelling back! Or, let's say you're waiting for a call back from a voicemail you left. Stop waiting for the call. Move on and live your life as it was before, and allow your life to continue on track (your track, not his or hers).
6. Trust yourself. Realise that most of feeling safe is about trusting yourself. You can be assured that most people—especially those close to you—will hurt you occasionally. Get over it as quickly as you can.
7. Be trustworthy. Become the kind of person who can be trusted. Be honest, no matter what. Be discreet. Keep agreements. Keep personal information between you personal.
8. Strengthen communication skills. Learn to communicate effectively and powerfully, yet gently. No attacks, no accusations—everything that needs to be said in order to make an impact can be said with grace and heart. If your partner won't talk, it means she's hurt or too selfish to be with. Find out which. If he or she listens, speak using “I feel” statements. As you know, we all tend to listen more intently if a soft tone is used.
9. Learn to trust. Believe in yourself and appreciate yourself enough to be able to dismiss the hurtful words.
10. Work through the hurt. Learn when it's appropriate to forgive and when it's best to end the relationship. Any partner will hurt you occasionally. The question is how much and how often. An occasional hurt or annoyance can be forgive n or dealt with for the benefit of the relationship. Working through the hurt can make you grow together.
About the Author: Barbara Kennedy, M.P.H., M.S.W., is a well-known relationship coach, prominent speaker, and public health educator with a private relationship coaching practice in Scottsdale, Arizona. Her new book is Baby Boomer Men: Looking for Love.
By: Tene Sommer
My name is TESSY JERRY FROM USA, I head that my husband was having an affair with one of my closest friend and I was very upset and worried so a friend of my advice me and told me if I still love my ex and if I really want to have him back so I told her yes, and she ask me to contact Dr. ADAGBA the spell caster and I did although I never believe on spell so he gave me something when he was casting the spell and ask me to say my wishes on it and after the casting of the spell a receive a phone call from my ex and was ask me at which I did and now we are back together again I’m so happy and I wish not to ever have this mistake again in my life. I will also advice anyone with this kind of issue to contact him for help he is really nice on phone and always there to answer you question giving you the good advice that you need. his email is email@example.com
Julie Wilson, Am From United kingdom After being in relationship with Wilson for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that don't believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I meant a spell caster called Dr iayaryi and I email him firstname.lastname@example.org , and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: email@example.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything. CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU SIR
My name is Nana Freya from Houston,taxes USA.i never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once. when i went to Africa in April this year on a business summit. i meant a man called prophet lord.He is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my love’s gone,misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you, bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job.i’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 2 years… i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job. so when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him..at first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. and in 6 days when i returned to taxes, my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married..i didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do… well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid,and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better. in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help, email address firstname.lastname@example.org prophet lord, i thank you very much thank you in great much to you and the good work you did to me and making my family happy again .. if you are having problem like this or with your family you will have to contact him now on email@example.com he is a great spell caster. once again thank you vey much prophet lord of firstname.lastname@example.org
"Good-day every one, my name is Harry Lura, i am from usa i want to share my experience with the general public on how i got my HIV aids cured, i have been reading so-many post of some people who were cured of HIV, but i never believed them, but one day bi wanted to tests the faith of the DR LUGARD then i contacted him on his email on email@example.com, firstname.lastname@example.org, when i contact him, he told me so many things about my life and so many thing about me which was 100% correct, then i pleaded with him to help me out, then to my greatest surprise he prepared some medicine and he asked me to take it, which i did exactly the way the asked me to take them, he told me that in two days time tat i should go and check on my HIV status, i was kind of been surprise, when i went to the hospital to check of my status, the doctor was so surprise when he saw that i was HIV negative, i did not know how i am going to thank DR LUGARD for his good work so i decided to share with the general public on what the great DR did for me, i am so thankful to GOD, for sending DR LUGARD to my rescue, of you are out there having same illness you can contact him so he can help you out on email@example.com,/firstname.lastname@example.org, you can also call HIM if you wish on+2347037098000, thanks for sharing from my experience........................."
1. GETTING YOUR EX LOVER BACK.
2. WINNING LOTTERIES.
3. CHILD BEARING.
4. BREAKING OF GENERATION COURSE.
5. GETTING OF JOB.
6. JOB PROMOTION.
7. MONEY SPELL.
8. SPIRITUAL PROTECTION.
9. HERBAL CARE.
10. BEAUTY SPELL.
My name Lucia (Ohio, USA) i want to give thanks and i will always give thanks to Dr DAGAMA who brought back my love that has left me for 6years within 48hours, i have said about this last week but i promised to always tell people about this every week end so that those that did not read about it last will read about it this week, i have been looking for how to get this boy back to my life because i love this boy with the whole of my heart, i could not replace him with any body,one day i was watching my television when i saw a lady giving thanks to Dr DAGAMA and telling the world how he helped her i was so shocked i could not believe it because i never taught that there are powers that can bring back lost love, then that was how i decided to contact him too because i do really need my love back,when i contacted him i told him everything and he told me not to worry that my love will surely be back to my arms within 48hours at first i could not believe because i was thinking how could somebody that has gone for 6years come back within 48 hours,so then i decided to watch and see,unbelievable within the next 48hours i got a call from unknown number so i decided to pick the call the next thing i could hear was my loves voice he was pleading and begging me on the phone that i should forgive him that i should forget all that have happened that he did not know what came over him,he promised not to leave for any reason, that he was really sorry for what he did,i was so surprised because i never believed that this could happen,so that was how i accepted his apology and the next morning he came to my house and still pleading for me to forgive him i told him that everything is okay that i have forgiven him, that was how we started again and now we are married, i promised to say this testimony in radio station, commenting this testimony is still okay but before this month runs out i promise to say this in radio station and i will,sir thank you very much.World please am begging you people to try and thank this man for me,or if you need his help here is his email address: email@example.com
Dr Malawi is like a father to the fatherless.. i never believed these will really make a change in my marriage, and i never have it in my thought that i could ever been with my husband Mr Devis after divorcing and ending our 33years marriage.... My life was upset i never knew where to start from when my husband broke up with me.....My name is Tanisha Devis from Poland but got married and live in Chicago USA, firstname.lastname@example.org is the right email address to contact for an urgent help in getting your lover back.... My husband and I have been together for 33years before he divorced me and i was so upset because i thought i have lost my marriage forever... i did all i could to please for my husband to bring me back home but all to be in vain.. i had to travel away from my state because i was not having anywhere to stay because my home was not conducive for me to stay because my husband want me out of th house, i travel to a friend of mine in California, one night, when i was searching on a good spell caster results that help in bringing back lost lover's and husband's, i found an interesting story that was shared by Santana Valdez From Texas Huston, about a good spell caster called Dr Malawi,and how he helped her in getting her husband back home, and i decided to put a try in contacting him... he replied me back.. i thought at first these was just normal and he told me that i was going to get back my husband after a period of 28hours i still doubted him.... But today as i am sharing these good news is for me to express my experience to all the whole universe that these is a good spell caster that helps in bringing back lost lovers and he is (email@example.com)or call +27620171252 I am happily with my husband and my 3 kids, TARRY, WENDY, JEFF... great Malawi i thank you for helping me to get my family back.... his email address is (firstname.lastname@example.org)
My husband and I have been together for about five years. last month we got into an argument because i caught him cheating, i was heartbroken and i used to love him with all my heart, I was about to leave and asked him what’s on his agenda and he just ignored me. I got mad and cursed him out and left. He said that I am jealous and insecure which is a recurring theme in our arguments. i tried everything to repair our relationship but nothing came alright, luckily enough i was browsing on the internet and i saw testimony of clients who talked about Mr Robinson buckler and also i saw his email address robinsonbuckler@yahoo. com, i thought may be its also one of the scamming spell caster, but my heart was restless until i contacted him and i used his spell and it worked so nice, his spell made my husband to take me back as his wife, it also made my husband to love me more, anyone who want his or her lover back should contact robinsonbuckler
How i got my boyfriend back.Am Stacey Bruno by name I never believed in love spells or magic until I met this spell caster once when i went to see my friend in Indian this year on a business summit. I meant a man who's name is Dr ATILA he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one's gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I'm now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 5 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 7 days when i returned to Canada, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn't believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is email@example.com
I never believed in love spells or magic until I met this spell caster once when i went to see my friend in Indian this year on a business summit. I meant a man who's name is Dr ATILA he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one's gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I'm now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 5 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 7 days when i returned to Canada, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn't believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is firstname.lastname@example.org
HOW MY MARRIAGE WAS SAVED:email@example.com
My Name is Dan Anelos ..I never believed in Love Spells or Magics until I met this special spell caster when i contact this man called firstname.lastname@example.org Execute some business..He is really powerful..My wife divorce me with no reason for almost 4 years and i tried all i could to have her back cos i really love her so much but all my effort did not work out.. we met at our early age at the college and we both have feelings for each other and we got married happily for 5 years with no kid and she woke up one morning and she told me she’s going on a divorce..i thought it was a joke and when she came back from work she tender to me a divorce letter and she packed all her loads from my house..i ran mad and i tried all i could to have her back but all did not work out..i was lonely for almost 4 years…So when i told the spell caster what happened he said he will help me and he asked for her full name and her picture..i gave him that..At first i was skeptical but i gave it a try cos have tried so many spell casters and there is no solution…so when he finished with the readings,he got back to me that she’s with a man and that man is the reason why she left me…The spell caster said he will help me with a spell that will surely bring her back.but i never believe all this…he told me i will see a positive result within 3 days..3 days later,she called me herself and came to me apologizing and she told me she will come back to me..I cant believe this,it was like a dream cos i never believe this will work out after trying many spell casters and there is no solution..The spell caster is so powerful and after that he helped me with a pregnancy spell and my wife got pregnant a month later..we are now happy been together again and with lovely kid..This spell caster has really changed my life and i will forever thankful to him..he has helped many friends too with similar problem too and they are happy and thankful to him..This man is indeed the most powerful spell caster have ever experienced in life..Am Posting this to the Forum in case there is anyone who has similar problem and still looking for a way out..you can reach him here:email@example.com OR firstname.lastname@example.org... CONTACT THIS GREAT AND POWERFUL SPELL CASTER CALLED SHAKES SPEAR ... HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS :email@example.com OR firstname.lastname@example.org... CONTACT HIM NOW AND BE FAST ABOUT IT SO HE CAN ALSO ATTEND TO YOU BECAUSE THE EARLIER YOU CONTACT HIM NOW THE BETTER FOR YOU TO GET QUICK SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS...
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